you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
