It's Friday. Sex?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
