the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
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I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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