I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
