so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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