If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We are all done wearing pants today
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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