Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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