Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
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I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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