oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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