Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
