What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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