so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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