I just pynch a tree in the face
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
