Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
