Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
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I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
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When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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