We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
