you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
