But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
