he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
