omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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