I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
