Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Be still, my beating vagina.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I said "one day" and that day is not today
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
