this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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