so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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