"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
