New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
