my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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