Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Randomize
