Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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