Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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