i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move