guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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