I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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