i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
