Midget sex pt 2 tonight
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
