I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize