this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
