I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
More tranny stories later!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
