She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This baby is an asshole
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
