Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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