You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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