I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I puked a lego.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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