i barfeds in our rink
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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