i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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