Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
