Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I need help removing her.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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