you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
