Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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