final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
