New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
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I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
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I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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