i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
sarcasm needs its own font
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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