i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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