Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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