Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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