I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
