If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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