I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize