it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
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They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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