Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
