i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
