nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
