taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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