I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I got inside last night via doggy door
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
