He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
