woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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