Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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