I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
