Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
